whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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