are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
