he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
