My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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