hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
