I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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