I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
