I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
