people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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