My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Randomize
