i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
