okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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