Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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