Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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