porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
We are two peas in an std pod
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Randomize
