Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
