I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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