Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
