I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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