Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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