It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
