when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
