so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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