we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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