all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
