you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
