all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
