Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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