Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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