My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
you will always have a special place in my vag
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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