I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
