Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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