Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
