he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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