Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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