Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
