I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
