Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
we should paint friendship bongs
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