And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
This is the high leading the old right now
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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