Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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