i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
false alarm, still single
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
