Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
