Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
