Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
