There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
They took my balls.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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