but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
