i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
