you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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