it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
