the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
