he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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