his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
