i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
