Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
